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Rhyme Stoppers
You'll get 1 EPUB Sample of Rhymes: 1. ATM Dementia Withdrawing money from the ATM, which I dearly Hate, (except for a little dementia), I was keeping things Straight. So I punched in my pin number and the readout Read That’s Columbus’s birthday, you moron!—Try again, ’cause he’s Dead! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Can you imaginemy embarrassment? Oh—what a Boo-boo! I had punched in Columbus’s birthday instead of my birthday (1942). --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dementia can be pretty Cruel But the ATM paid me inPesos—Boy! Was that ever Cool! 2. Bank Account Libido Upon Reflection–a bank account balance is a lot like an Erection. You eagerly stroke it with deposits to increase its girth and Size And just when you need it most It shrivels up before your very Eyes. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You’ve been banging your bank account way too hard—you Looney! How do you expect to generate any interest With a bank balance that Puny? 3. Egg Salad Insanity Egg salad sandwiches? That’s my favorite Meal! I’d kill for an egg salad sandwich even do the ChickenReel. So I was making my egg salad and got into a Jam The hard-boiled eggs wouldn’t peel worth a Damn! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So I returned to the Clucky Pecker store and demanded a Refund He egged me on with a “Hell no! You’re not getting’ none! So since I didn’t have a gun and after three Tries I egged that bastard right between the Eyes. I sure hoped my lawyer has the good Sense To plead the egg salad insanity defense. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ladies and gentleman of the jury—we Contend That the lousy egg salad served At theBonkers Institute caused my client to kill Again. He went over-the-wall crazy since he just couldn’t Take It. Unfortunately, Humpty Dumpty his cell mate didn’t quite Make It 4. Chinese Assembly Torture I sized up the Box—I’d have it together in two hours Tops. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Six times I assembled it and took it Apart. Alas—twenty-three extra pieces! I had used up all my Smarts. Those instructions were harder to Understand than the book of Daniel --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Screw that fractured English Manual! Later that Day the cops came and took me Away. And then a therapist, Dr. Wong shows up With my half-finished Project. And says I’ll never get out unlessthe assembly is Correct. 5. Duct Tape I love duct tape, and I can’t help Blurting (wrapped tightly enough) It will even keep gooses from Squirting --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- But you can’t tape the antlers back on Mooses And many are serving hard time for its Abuses. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sure, I admit it—I accidentally taped her nose To her cheek while she was Yelling— But that shouldn’t make me a Duct Tape, Death—Row Felon! If you want to read more, please click the "Shop Now" button.